Rebelling against them.

When the Apostle Paul writes the definition for love, his description has sweet nothing to do with a flimsy euphoria that comes and goes. He says,“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 

Paul assumes that moments of impatience, hopelessness, dishonour, self-seeking, and anger will exist in human relationships. Love is not the absence of these things; rather, it is the gut-wrenching act of rebelling against them.

“I don’t know if I love her.” The entire phrase is a misnomer; it’s grounded in a misunderstanding of the essence of love. If you are waiting for a prolonged sense of euphoria, you’re waiting for something other than love. Don’t expect love to mystically appear before you commit — because it won’t. Love exists where it is practiced.

http://convergemagazine.com/single-wish-lives-away-12330/

So let’s stop. Focus. Learn contentment by looking out the window at the here and now. Let go of expectations. Realize every stage of life is great and full of its own blessings and challenges and no one is better than the other. Water ourselves exactly where God has planted us so we’re useful. And for heaven’s sake, let’s ride the freaking gondola, OK?

You don’t want to look back over your life and see what could have been if you had only stayed the course. “We feel that under other skies, we would succeed,” C.H. Spurgeon once observed. “I may know something about my weakness in the present trial but I cannot know how I might stagger under another. Be wary of changing your trials. To exchange one trial for another is all the relief you will get.”

Not all who wander are lost, but be careful how, and why you wander.

"Everyone should smile. Life really isn’t that serious. We make it hard. The sun rises. The sun sets. We just tend to complicate the process."

Sometimes the awkward moments are the ones we need to experience.

Furthermore, it’s hard to be “the man” in a relationship. It’s hard to be completely faithful in your thoughts and actions. It’s hard to be a spiritual leader. It’s hard to always put her needs before your own. At first, it seems easy, like we can do it naturally. But after time, it takes work: lots of work. Guys need to be told to “be a man.” A good man. We need guidance on what that looks like in a relationship. 

Cover Magazine Link

I didn't even love her when we got married.

Because love isn't an emotion.  That fire I felt, it was simply that: emotional fire.  From the excitement of dating a woman I felt like I could marry.  But it wasn't love.

No, love isn't an emotion or even a noun.  It's a verb.  Better defined as giving.  As putting someone else's needs above your own.

Why wasn't I getting reciprocal lovey-doveyness when we were first married?  Because it wasn't for her.  It was for me.  An emotion I had in my chest.

And even when I let it out of my chest, it wasn't love.

Being sappy isn't love.  Telling someone you love them doesn't mean that you do.

And that's why my wife just gave me that half-smile.  She knew, even if I didn't, what love really is.

-There was no way I could keep that dating fire burning as practicality invaded our lives.

And at first, it drove me nuts.  That emotion meant love!  That excitement was how I knew I cared for her!  But suddenly, life was this grind.  Even when I was with her.  Especiallywhen I was with her.

-I think that might be a big part of the reason the divorce rate is so high in this country.  Imagine a whole nation of people constantly chasing the emotions they had when they were dating.  A country of people trying to live a Disney movie.

That's a recipe for disastrous marriages.

-It's time that we changed the conversation about love.  It's time that we redefine it.

-It took me longer than I care to admit to understand what was happening.

But eventually it became clear.  Through giving, through doing things for my wife, the emotion that I had been so desperately seeking naturally came about.  It wasn't something I could force, just something that would come about as a result of my giving.

In other words, it was in the practicality that I found the love I was looking for.

I think you are neat too.

Chemistry.

"Beginning to think all love ever does
Is break and burn and end." -Taylor

"his smile when he smiles at what i am saying is from the heart."

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.” —Ernest Hemingway

"You said, I reminded you of the Dead Sea. They were the nicest words you ever said to me."

Being that logical isn't logical, its defensive.

Head vs. Heart

"I think in the really lucky ones cases....it is both. I shoot a lot of weddings and engagements and I see a lot of people "in love" I feel like I'm a pretty good judge of relationships. Lots of time they are doing it because they really want to accomplish the "goal" of marriage and someone fits the bill. They'll get married...have kids.....probably have a great marriage and grow to really love each other, because of their accomplishments together. There's another kind of love where that person is it. They are your best friend (And not your best friend because you spent most of your freshmen year on their couch with them) but because you really couldn't see yourself doing anything else without them being a part of it. If something happens...THEY are the one you want to share it with. That along with a great spark.....I dunno...I think it's more than just "working" Meet Joe Black: Anthony Hopkins (William Parrish (talking to his daughter) has a great quote: 

"I want you to get swept away, sing with rapture, dance like a dervish.

It's a cornball thing.  Love is passion, obsession... something you can't live without.

I say, fall head over heels.  Find someone you can love like crazy, that will love you the same way back.  How do you find them, well...you forget your head and listen to your heart."

Yeah, it's tough. Because sometimes we say we have to listen to our heads. I had the opportunity to do that. I dated a girl in NYC but listening to my heart....it wasn't worth it. There was no deep abiding.."no. I have to be with this person". But when your heart is saying yes. Yes. YES. but it doesn't make sense? I think that's when it's worth it. 

Because it will make sense later. Or you'll do what it takes to make it make sense.

If that hasn't happened in a long time we forget about it. 

But it doesn't mean that it still can't happen." -KO

Letter from Steinbeck to his son.

dear thom: 

we had your letter this morning. i will answer it from my point of view.

first - if you are in love - that's a good thing - that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. don't let anyone make it small or light to you. second - there are several kinds of love. one is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. this is the ugly and crippling kind. the other is an outpouring of everything good in you - of kindness, and consideration and respect - not only the social respect of manners but the greatest respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. the first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had. you say this is not puppy love. if you feel so deeply - of course it isn't puppy love. but I don't think you were asking me what you feel. you know that better than anyone. what you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it - and that i can tell you. 

glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it. the object of love is the best and most beautiful. try to live up to it. if you love someone - there is no possible harm in saying so - only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration. 

girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

it sometimes happens that what you feel inside is not returned for one reason or another - but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good. lastly, i know your feeling because i have it and i am glad you have it. and don't worry about losing. if it is right, it happens - the main thing is not to hurry. nothing good gets away. 

love, 

fa 

"Give em hell Pam"

 "I love it when you quote me on the internet. Your blog is a great representation of you. I like the  quote at the top of the page describing you.  

 Pretty spot on except you forgot to say the following:

I hate to shower

I love to pop zits on my face and others 

I am fiscally minded (almost to the point of obsession) and like to save and stuff.

Lastly I am waiting for my husband to pull into the garage, wearing a suite, in a Volvo, with his dry cleaning hanging in the back seat (although it would be cheaper to do the laundry at home as opposed to taking it to the cleaners) which is the thought that will go through your head as he walks into the door." -JBB

Knowledge.

"The fit is well above the knee, perfect for extra flexibility when you're getting radical."

Peru Library Benefit Dinner.

Like ships, people have differing capacities at different times and even different days in their lives. In our relationships we need to establish our own Plimsoll marks and help identify them in the lives of those we love. Together we need to monitor the load levels and be helpful in shedding or at least readjusting some cargo if we see our sweetheart is sinking. Then, when the ship of love is stabilized, we can evaluate long-term what has to continue, what can be put off until another time, and what can be put off permanently. Friends, sweethearts, and spouses need to be able to monitor each other's stress and recognize the different tides and seasons of life. We owe it to each other to declare some limits and then help jettison some things if emotional health and the strength of loving relationships are at risk. Remember, pure love "beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things," and helps loved ones do the same.